The Way I Used to Be: The TikTok sensation

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Mit der Anmeldung erklären Sie sich mit den Bestimmungen zur Missbrauchs- und Betrugsverhinderung gemäss unserer Datenschutzerklärung einverstanden. Anmelden but i did today i dont know why i just kinda forced myself to do it because havent it on my shelf felt just as triggering as it would to read it. so i read it. and whoa. it was intense and horrible to read in the kind of way that it physically hurt and i was shaking and crying and i wanted to throw up but i didn't stop reading. Thank you thank you Cara bby for reading this with me! God I'm so glad I reached out to you couldn't have done this without you. I always have so much fun reading with you.💖💖--

Then my mom shakes the robe at me, offering me a lie I didn’t even need to think up. She starts getting that look in her eye—that impatient, it’s-the-holidays-and-I-don’t-have-time-for-this look. Clearly, it was time for me to get going so she could deal with this mess. And clearly, nobody was going to hear me. Nobody was going to see me—he knew that. He had been around long enough to know how things work here.This is such a lovely novel, full of real, raw emotions that will make you cry, feel sorry for the characters, and feel for them. this book shares the unforgettable story of a young woman as she struggles to find strength in the aftermath of an assault. eden's whole life changes the night her brother's best friend rapes her. told over the course of four years, we get to see how eden cope's with her trauma and grows as a person. Still, I'd recommend this one because it effectively puts you into the immediacy of Eden's emotions--the pain, shame, and fear, as well as the feeling that you've been damaged beyond repair. And that you are unworthy, undeserving, and unlikely to ever be treated with respect and tenderness.

Joshua!!!! He is too good for her. TOO GOOD. When he entered her life, I had some hope that she might tell him something cz how he did actually opened to her and everything. She claims to be that "Heartless bitch" but she actually did him filthy and dirty. She literally uses that phrase in a very incorrect manner; I did not wanted her to unintentionally do harm to others. eden was so so so well written and being in her head was such a surreal experience. i really loved how amber smith displayed eden's different coping mechanisms. a lot of the mental health books ive read focus on self harm - which is obviously such an important and relevant topic, but i think that media forgets to portray the other ways that rape survivors cope, this is what amber excelled at. eden struggled with drinking, drugs, sex, and overall being kinda mean. of course there were times that i was frustrated with her, but i never forgot that this was her way of dealing with everything and i was in no position to judge.

Eden is a fascinating, wonderful character. I struggled so much with her in the beginning of the novel, but I feel she challenged me as a person due to this. She consistently hurts people who care for her, creates many more problems for herself, and makes so many horrible decisions as being raped begins to alter her perception of the world. I had such a difficult time loving her in the beginning because of all her harmful actions, but I had to keep reminding myself that this is an expression of trauma and while people must take responsibility for their actions, I should not pass such harsh judgement on someone who is responding to such a horrific event that will have changed her life forever. Eden’s characterization is so powerful and authentic, and her development is so well constructed throughout the story that I never could have expected to love her as much as I did by the conclusion of the novel. I am so appreciative to Eden for opening my eyes to an experience unique to her and many other survivors of sexual assault and her story is not one I will forget any time soon. Caelin: omg i hate him. I don’t care if Kevin was like a brother to him. I don’t care about anything at all other than that his sister needed him and he wasn’t there. She showed a lot of signs that something was wrong. That she was not okay but he was so damn blind to all of this. And when he finally decided to care it was to late. I would have to say that if you have been raped, this book will either destroy you or make you feel less alone, but it may be a trigger so please read at your own risk.

this is the kind of story you feel uncomfortable reading - but in a good way. the kind of story where you want to grab the main character by their shoulders and tell them to speak up. but instead you witness them slowly suffering. and then the ending brings you to tears, because it was beautiful and touching at the same time.Reading "The Way I Used to Be" reminds me a little of my experience reading a few of Ellen Hopkins books. No poetry here, but it's very raw and doesn't shy away from showing Eden's story in graphic detail. That means showing what happened to her during her rape and the aftermath in showing how it affects Eden's ability to relate with the people around her - from her family to friends to love interests. Suffice to say, Eden doesn't treat other people very well, let alone herself. It's a difficult spiral to watch; I'll admit there were times when I found it hard to watch Eden go to the point of no return with screwing up her relationships and trying everything she can to numb her respective pains - drugs, sex to offset her rape, pushing away all the people closest to her or even using other people as a means to end. Despite times when I wanted to throttle her or say "No, no, no!", I felt for her. Throughout the story I wanted so badly for her to overcome the spiral, even if there were moments where I felt numb by the holes she dug so deeply in her life. I feel these forbidden thoughts creep in sometimes without warning. Slow thoughts that always start quietly, like whispers you're not even sure you're hearing. And then they get louder and louder until they become every sound in the entire world. Thoughts that can't be undone. this story is written across four years. the first part being eden's freshman year, then sophmore, junior and senior. we get to see how she grows and copes with her trauma throughout the four years. The pacing in some parts of the books was too fast. We were robbed for many of the important scenes! When and how she started calling her parents by their names not Mom and Dad.

I wanted for her to tell somone just ANYONE. It frustrated me So. Many. Times. Like it would've made the whole book a bit more better and understanding. I get it how hard it can be how depressing it can be. The story itself has its own issues such as weak characterization and the timeskips through her four years of high school result in a lot of probably-important scenes being lost. For instance, the moment Eden went from calling her parents by their names instead of Mom and Dad. That's a pivotal moment in a character's development, but all I know is it happened sometime between her junior and senior years. The Way I Used To Be utterly failed to live up to its potential. I was supposed to get up, get dressed, and sit down to breakfast with my family. Then after breakfast, I would promptly go to my bedroom and finish any homework I hadn’t finished Friday night, sure to pay special attention to geometry. I would practice that new song we learned in band, call my best friend, Mara, maybe go to her house later, and do dozens of other stupid, meaningless tasks.

The lovely young lady gets raped by the best friend of his brother. Thirteen years old. How a brief period of time—just five minutes—can completely alter your personality and transform you into someone you never would have imagined becoming. And here is where I risk sounding insensitive. Because how dare I suggest that Eden goes through too much negative shit? Shouldn't this book show the horrible reality? Yes! Absolutely, yes! It should. But a series of terrible events does not make a good book. I'll echo the author's resource note at the end and include the free hotline for the Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network: 1-800-656-HOPE. If you need someone, please know help is available and confidential. I'm mad. Really mad. The book is Eden's downward spiral into a girl who sleeps around trying to forget the trauma of her rape and replace that touch with someone else's touch. I have no problems with that and I am 100% there for Eden as someone who has been the victim of a sexual crime (mine was abuse instead of assault, though). I know how hard it can be in the aftermath of your brother's best friend violating you. It's hard to tell anyone, especially your family because they love him so much. Never once did I dislike Eden and I still want to take her to my bosom and make everything better for her. She's why the book gets one star instead of no stars at all. Looking up at her, I feel so small. And Kevin’s voice moves like a tornado through my mind, whispering—his breath on my face—No one will ever believe you. You know that. No one. Not ever.